2 weeks have passed and still all I could think about is college, and the memories I cherished with it.

Oh sure the first week was fine- with all the post Grad parties, thanks giving and the pointless INUM time with friends.

I told myself: “MY LIFE COULDN’T BE MUCH FUN THAN THIS”

And lo and behold!

Like my numerous decisions before… “I WAS TOTALLY WRONG”

The second week came swiftly, I guess the saying “TIME FLIES WHEN HAVING

FUN” is a phenomenon that frequently happens in my world…

-DVD marathons (approximately 7 movies straight)

-2 books ( “The Underminer and “The Camera Obscura”

-6 long walks (around my neighborhood)

-1 rpg game (“Suikoden 2” again!)

-2 photo shoots

-3 jogs

For one whole week I completed the list above, and yet the burning and excruciating passion to go back into the crazy college life never ceases.

I never thought that after the graduation life will be so dull… stagnant… broke ass…

I was not prepared for such a change in lifestyle!

Lifeless is what I am feeling now…

Jaded is what I am about to feel in 30 minutes…

And Nostalgia is what binds them all, which unfortunately makes me a bonafide comatose being.

My college life was not have bad… I guess the key words or tags to my 5 years in liceo would be: Fun, Drunk, fool, Funny, backyard, tanduay, erpz, davao, lucky nine, tequila, vodka, extensions, beach and party.

I don’t know if I was the epitome of a BAD student, but surely I was inclined to crazy things… crazier than Sex, drugs and alcohol… ahahhaha… kidding… slight…

Remembering the late night parties and pure drunken fun tears me up inside, because I of all people know how hard it is to balance the equation of FUN and STUDIES…

I raise a shot glass to all my Inum buddies who graduated without any problems in their grades…

I raise a shot glass to my close friends who accompanied me to the perilous journey of nursing…

Lets drink once more and reminisce of the happenings not so long ago…

Never forget what sets us apart my comrades!

WE MAY DRINK….

WE MAY GET HIGH…

WE MAY PUKE ON THE GUTTER…

WE MAY BE MALIGNED BY OTHERS…

But WE ARE WHAT WE ARE!

SMART ASS DEVIANTS!

THE NEW RADICALS! |FIN|









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CRITERIAS on ATTRACTION

In a developing city like Cagayan, The Nocturnal scene is still laid back compared to the wild and hardcore parties in the METRO cities. But the real certainty we have in these so-called social gatherings- regardless of the time and place, is "WE SEARCH".

We search for something in the night... whatever tickles our fancy... Me? personally i go into this bars and pubs just to search for pure-drunken fun. People have different tastes, backgrounds and influences... Some may SEARCH for Pure no-holds-bar SEX... while some SEARCH for utter SUPPORT in their time of desperation... While other emotional-dreamers search for that one MAJOR thing... LOVE.

So... If by chance you see a girl/guy walk pass by you... the aroma of his/her perfume reverberates to your whole body, and just petrifies your senses.

What do you do???

Oooo... I bet the adrenaline is rushing through your whole system, and then your mind asks you : To FIGHT? or To FLIGHT?

but no matter what you do, whether you flirt with that person or fool around... you will never know the bottom line. thats why people skip the whole "I LOVE YOU" thing and head on for a BANG ON... and give birth to another ONE NIGHT STAND... typical, common and honestly BORING...

I have developed what i believe to be a criteria based on NON VERBAL CUES and INTIMATE acts...

Im not claiming to be an expert in pointing out good relationships... Ive had a few bumps myself... But what im trying to convey is the IDEA of the people i am with in a daily basis. My Close friend's Views on attraction and also MY BROTHER's point of view about dating... So its not entirely me per se...

So here we go... the First criteria is:

THE STARE/ THE ATTRACTION:

>Ever had an experience wherein you’re in a party mingling with your own set of friends, and then suddenly- this enigmatic pair of eyes just appear and hypnotizes you. You play coy of course, and turn your back... but involuntarily your head turns back to see those eyes... and BOOM! Your eyes to eyes with that person... ATTRACTION... thats one of the key elements in a so-called relationship...

FRIEND’S POINT OF VIEW:

"A BORING RELATIONSHIP... either has no attraction or they're both dead"

An attraction must be established first before you get into anything serious, unless you decide to have another ONS (one night stand)… that’s original…

According to this book I read “THE SECRET” by rhonda byrne:

The Law of Attraction is applicable to everyone, “LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE”. So for simplicity sake the book tells us WE ARE BOUND TO ATTRACT SOMETHING, or in this case SOMEONE.

THE SMILE:

>You haven’t caught the fish yet, you only attracted it with a bait… So its time to reel in the real thing. A common misconception about the smile is that: people tend to be frightfully aggressive when the smile has been established. No no my friends, the smile is only a tiny peek in that persons world. It only means “I AM FOND OF YOU, ID LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU”. It doesn’t mean “ID LIKE TO RAVAGE YOU AND SUCK YOUR COCK and LICK YOUR CLIT”… unless once again, YOU or worst THAT PERSON is searching for a good time fuck- and that means CIAO!

FRIEND’S POINT OF VIEW:

“Daghan kaau smiles, pero you just have to look for that CHUVACHOOHOO smile”

The smile can be deceiving… it can lure like a mouse in a cheese factory… It’s the most cunning method of the whole metro scene… one smile and cupid’s arrow already FUCKED YOU UP… But hey, it’s a do or die kind of scenario, the smile is only one part of the criteria- look at it this way: at least the attraction is heightened.


THE FRIENDLY SLAP/ THE TOUCH:


>The friendly slap… this is my own personal justification that a girl has become my friend… and I say, it hasn’t brought me to harms way yet… it has worked for me perfectly…

When you meet a person for the fist time- a person from the opposite sex perhaps, your actions are cautious and well thought of. You don’t do anything radical just yet, you establish familiarity (OR ATTRACTION) first hand. If your known to say a good joke or two, your bound to get THE FRIENDLY SLAP. It means that the person your conversing with is comfortable with you and wants to know more about you.

Still, the friendly slap has misconceived notions: people tend to relate it to “FLIRTACIOUS ACTS”. Although it is rather true, but somehow it has a big a difference. See FLIRTING, is a form of making an attraction to someone by the combination of THE STARE, THE SMILE and THE TOUCH. Some may find it offensive sometimes, but its all in the of approach and timing. It is a complex thing to do, and some brave individuals will frequently crash and burn.

While the FRIENDLY SLAP, only tackles with acquaintances or would be friends… No romantic attachments yet. So Don’t confuse the two, or you’ll end up being bitch-slapped or excommunicated.

TO BE CONTINUED…







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Why is it Hard to let go?

Its quite funny to other people, why some possess strong feelings for someone- to the point that they cant let go. Even if they know that they are dwelling on unrequited love, they still fight for that feeling. I reckon its a preservation of dignity in a way, YOU FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN. An honorable yet stupid thing to do. I have no grudge against these individuals, I am a part of them after all.

So, the question now stands: WHY IS IT HARD TO LET GO?

Physical? well, now that i pointed it out- it seems that the "PHYSICAL" aspect does have an effect on the "I-dont-want-to-let-you-go" frenzy. But the emotion that one feels is deeper than the superficial.

You think about them constantly... the possibilities that one day, you and your would-be lover will share the same bonds of LOVE... You hope that the barrier of unrequited affection will cease. You hope... You yearn... Thus, You STAY...

LOVE? is it always about love? why are we blaming such a divine word... Such a sacred phenomenon... Why do we always say: "YAWA BA KAAYO NING GUGMA OI"... Why? is there no one else to blame? Love is not the culprit here... it is ourselves... we are drawn to do hideous and horrific feats just to seek out attention, especially the attention of our "LOVED" one...

Pure Idiocy...

Its hard to let go because you feel that your happy and secure with that person...

You are Complete when your skins meet... You are Ecstatic... You are contented...

Well its a subjective thing, no one else can explain the degree of elation that you feel towards him/her.

You sometimes pop an idea that "WHY CANT I BE HAPPY"...

Well you can, there are many ways to be happy...

then you rationalize by formulating out another idea "WHY CANT I BE HAPPY WITH HIM/HER?"...

well i dont know... Your loss i believe...

THE ANSWER TO "WHY ITS HARD TO LET GO" is:

its hard to let go... Because you choose not to let go...
its hard to let go because you constantly rationalize everything...
its hard to let go because you simply wont MOVE ON...

take a break! Be Happy without hurting other people... and find inner peace...

and lastly, dont be another person... be yourself.... and live life... |FIN|





"MEMBER OF"



"FRIENDS"

Why is it everytime i tune in the radio, the songs have to hit me straight to the heart??? Call it fate, karma or whatever... one thing is for sure, i am not enjoying it!

Like the song "Is it okay if i call you mine"

>Like duh, what kind of nincompoop writes a song about unrequited love! uhhhhmmm... thats kind of pointing to the obvious isnt it? hehehe... anyway, this song ruined my whole day yesterday... arrrrghhhh... so pathetic... hahaha... "is it okay if i call you mine, just for a time???" What a complete lozer... And yet, i cant help but indulge in the song... Perhaps im a lozer too...

"Bizarre Love triangle"

>Oh yeah, thats rich... Its so gruelingly sad for someone whose in a triangle- that is inclined to love, and it is perfectly bizarre to begin with... How Hot is that? you tell me! i know right? hahaha... im just monologuing... Well i reckon everyone has experienced this kind of scenario... am i right? well who cares... But i bet it hurt at some point... i know i did... hahahaha...

"Linger"

>Ha... I actually like this song... I love the cranberries! hahaha... I just didnt know how truthful the lyrics is... so simple yet appealing... Appealing to the ears, but blunt to those who are emotionally distressed. U like? hahaha... the main question in this song is "Do you have to let it linger?"... well well well... thats my question about a week ago... hahaha... Why does an individual let that excruciating, irrational, depressing emotion linger? why? well... I guess the more you delve into the depths of love... It feels fucking great!

"Its all about your Love"

>this is actually a new comer, I constantly watch this series in Abs-cbn... A youthful, puppy and raw expression of what love is... Full of drama, intensity, kilig and Raging Jealousy... I guess the portrayals were all true... because all of the latter does happen... Well, going back to the song- its a bit upbeat and super cheezy... But once again i cant help but indulge in it! hahaha... especially the part "Kung Gusto Mong may mangayari... then Make it"... See? its actually a brainwashing slash feelgood slash optimistic song... hahaha... It gives me a smile everytime i hear it... hahaha... u like???

>>>>I guess thats all of the songs that give my brain a dose of numbness... hehehe... Ahhh, writers way of captivating the hearts of ill crossed lovers, Pinahurts, Pathetics, Unrequited lovers and down right sad people is so myterious... I wish i could have that appeal someday...<<<FIN>>>






"MEMBER OF"



"FRIENDS"

Im usually a frank a guy, i blurt out whats on my mind... but recently ive had some set backs. I became frail, weak, insignificant and last but definitely not the least... attached. My emotions became vulnerable- i easily break apart! For God's sake i was never like this before... i was not some weakling... No one had ever pushed me! no one had ever tore me apart... and as far as i can recall, no one has ever invoked my wrath.

At present, i admit, i am broken... alcohol is my only friend. See? 2 years ago, Beer was only a fling to me... Tequila was just a one night stand... and Vodka was only a booty-call... But now, they are like prostitutes! I pay them to make me contented...

Whats wrong with me??? arrrrghhh! i feel so freakin FRUSTRATED!!!!

Now, at this very moment, approximately 7:31pm MARCH 18,2007- I am draining my whole existence to a bottle of vodka. I am a piece of shit... hmmph... Its so unpredictable isnt it? The once hailed chaos God had fallen... and worst... Had been beaten...

tsk tsk tsk... "You deserve it!" all my victims unanimously shouted...

I hide my face in shame... never to see the light again... Is this Karma? Had the Wraiths passed the unforgiving judgement to my soul???

Am i to burn in hell now???

I have a Pharmacology test tommorrow, and i havent memorized a single prototype. "Maayo na!" my frends would sarcastically state... I would then rationalize by saying "Leave me alone... cant you see im Problematic?"... i would then continue chugging my vodka bottle until vomitus comes out...

what a tangled web i weave...

Do i need help? yah... as a nursing student, i would be aware that the first step towards healing is to admit that you need help...

I need help... hahahah! I need help opening this next vodka bottle! hahahaha!

Nah... I dont need help... I just need some intervention!

can anyone end my misery??? how about you? You look excited! Do it...



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